Part Four...........

Before I begin, I would like to thank all of you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. It has been a tremendously difficult strain on this family for the past few weeks. Although I am now Mono-free, the after effects are still quite debilitating.

Anyway, within minutes of us getting home from the hospital, we left the children in the care of my parents, Connie and Rob. Off we went to make our new home asthma proof. Looking back, I realize that only God lead us through this blinding task. My parents lovingly opened their doors to us and looked after the kids everyday while Dylan, his brother, my extended family, my sponsor, and a good friend of mine helped us surmount the seemingly insurmountable.

I think it took about a month or so, before we were able to move home. It happened so fast, and was so stressful, I don't remember most of it really. I do remember, midway into it I was still working part time at a nursing home. I was working the night shift, and just before we were to leave, a bomb threat was called in. We were instructed by our superiors to 'search for anything suspicious' and 'in every room and hallway'. As it turns out, and obviously, it was nothing more than a threat. However, in the midst of everything going on with Robbie and the renovations, I had tried to stay strong, not feel the emotions or feel them at a more appropriate time, maybe when I had more time, once things got done...........

but once I thought my life was in danger, and that I may never see my family again, I broke down.

Completely.

Broken.

Defeated by life.

Beaten down.

Once I got home I collapsed into an almost violent tremble, I couldn't speak, I could hardly hear, tears were almost projectile. My mom made me some tea, and Dylan held me close. My daughter Rachael wanted to know what was happening. The last thing that I wanted was for her to see me in such a state. It was like all of the hurt and pain reared its head at once and I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

It soon passed, and I fell ito a deep sleep.

When I awoke, it was like it never happened. I quickly gathered what I needed for the day, and went ot my house to get more done.

After we moved back home, things were slowly coming together. I was and continue to learn about asthma. I of course had some sleepless nights in the Emergency room because I thought Robbie was having another attack. Only once since then has robbie been really sick and needed prednisone, and that was about a month or two ago. We have since been to the Asthma clinic and Robbie has changed one of his puffers, and is also on an oral medication. Also in the past two or three months (it gets hard to remember) I went to the doctor about Robbie's little neck. I had noticed he did not turn to the left, and because of that the moulding of his head was severely warped. He was immediately seen by a physiotherapist. He was diagnosed with "Congenital Muscular Torticollis", or CMT. What had happened we think, is that he had injured or had torn a neck muscle either in utero or during birth. It is fairly common happening in roughly 1 in 1000 children. Why it wasn't diagnosed before? I don't know. At 7 months, his head was severely warped and because around one year the plates are fused together, there was a possibility of crano-facial surgery.

We caught it just in time. We do stretches of his neck at least three times daily and he is still seeing the physiotherapist. His head is shaping normaly, there is no brain damage, and he is doing things babies his age are supposed to. He actually had an appointment today with the physiotherapist, but I am still so weak, I was unable to take him. My mother (bless her heart) took him for me. He is recovering!!

He is beautiful, and a lovely baby.

I apologize if this seems a little jumbled. As theraputic as this is, I find it a little difficult to remember things in chronological order. I think when I am a little better I'll re-write, or at least proof read....

Thank you all for your continued prayers for my family.

Love, Barbara