Recovery is about learning new truths
As a recovering alcoholic, discovery of new things is an everyday occurance. Not every new discovery is one to rejoice. For instance, today I discovered that I am not perfect. I also discovered that no matter how hard I try, I can't be, and others around me cannot be perfect too.
Today, while speaking to a friend of mine I discovered that I can sometimes set unreasonable demands upon myself, and others for that matter. Not something I really enjoyed hearing or accepting as being true, but I certainly can't deny it either.
With my son being ill with severe asthma, I expect that I can dust everyday, sweep and mop the floors everyday, create a fabulous dinner and tidy up afterwards, spend quality time with my children and husband as well as find time to attend my AA meetings, go to the gym, finish my placement at college and help others I love.
"Unreasonable expectations" my friend told me, can lead to resentments both of myself and towards others. Thus, embarking on a downward spiral into unhealthy thoughts and actions.
However disappointing and surprising this revolation was to me, it made me understand that today I can create a new truth for my life- I am human- vulnerable, imperfect, but loving and loved as a child of God who will never give me more than I can handle. So today, I pray that I may be truly humble and yet have self respect. I pray that I may see the good in myself as well as the bad.
posted by Barbara at 8:20 AM
4 Comments:
Sounds like you and your friend had a good conversation. I like the notion that I need to set realistic expectations of self and other. Sometimes, I too, set unrealistic expectations. I am quite sure that I have set unrealistic standards for what I will accomplish today. I need some rest, having spent the equivalent of two full working days behind the wheel of a car in the last 60 hours or so. So, I'm doing that first, then the cleaning up for my friend's visit, making her bed, and so on. If there is time for more, so be it. The leaves are wonderful. The sky is blue and October can be a terrific month. Soaking that in might be a blessing from God for today.
Love you,
Barbara - great blog. I really love your honesty and how hope is a constant presence. I believe you're truly blessed to be on this road you're on. Oh, and maybe discovering you're not perfect is cause to rejoice. Imagine the pressure that has lifted from thinking you were and had to be. You are loved and you are a child of God. What more could one ask. May God bless you on your journey!
Your writing and sharing is so refreshing in its honesty and openness. Hope you don't mind if I come back!
"I can sometimes set unreasonable demands upon myself, and others for that matter."
Your friend is very wise! This was hard for me to learn - what am I saying, I'm still learning it!
I hope you don't mind if I link you, you inspire me and so does your mom!!!
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