"A wrongdoer is often a man that has left something undone, not always he that has done something."

This is a quote I happend to come by today, by Marcus Aurelius.

When I read this quote today I automatically felt as though I was a 'wrongdoer'. How many things have I left undone today? Yesterday? The past year... or four? huh. That much.

Guilt crept into my thoughts. I sat and pondered this idea of things left undone, or procrastinated - due to fear, humility, weakness, shame or sheer laziness. How important is it that all things that I want to do... get done? Since I haven't gotten everything I need done, and rarely ever do, in one day am I a "regular wrongdoer"? The very thought of this makes my heart and mind hurt. As my mind raced through all the things in my life I didn't do, I wanted done already, I had yet to do, and so on, my mind thankfully came to a screeching halt. The whirlwind of my selfcentered, egotistic mind came to rest. Suddenly, it came to me. All of these 'things left undone' were material! Plus, they were all about me. So I stopped. While trying to stop over-analizing this quote, I thought to myself, 'what un-materialistic things have I left undone thus far-today?'

When I woke up this morning did I ask God for help to get through this day? Did I ask that it be divorced from self-seeking motives or self-pity? Was I thankful for yesterday? Did I tell those that I love so much just how much I love them? Did I thank God for having these people in my life? Have I been greatful for anything today?

Much to my dismay, I hadn't. Today, I woke up and the coffee maker was broken, I have been busy keeping the house tidy, administering antibiotics to one child while getting her to daycare, and the other child has suddenly spiked a fever, unsubsided by tylenol, while I get ready to go to my Yoga/Pilates class at the gym. So, as any alcoholic hates, there had to be a change of plans. Arrange babysitting, hit the gym, pick up a friend, go for coffee, complain that life just doesn't seem to be going MY way lately, get dinner on the table, get the children bathed, into bed to have some ME time.

Is it too late?

No, there's still time left today.

God, thank you for showing me what your will is for me today. Please help me to let go of my selfish desires, and to understand what your will is for me today, and everyday.

As all of this unravelled in my mind I was reminded of a prayer,

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an

instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred,

let me sow love;

Where there is injury,

pardon;

Where there is doubt,

faith;

Where there is dispair,

hope;

Where there is darkness,

light;

And where there is sadness,

joy.

O devine Master,

Grant that I may not so

much seek to be consoled

as to console;

To be understood as to

understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are

pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.