Every human being has a story. We all have difficult battles to fight. Some are fighting difficult battles every minute of every day. My battle is Alcoholism.

Quite often, I feel as though it's only me who has to struggle with the insurmountable obstacles which seem to surface everyday. Only I have problems, responsiblilities, burdens, faults and pain to endure. However, 18 months ago I opened my eyes. I saw that other members in my family, friends, other human beings had lives too. Some had endured more pain than I could ever imagine, lost loved ones to murder, to accidents, suicides, miscarriages. Some lost their entire livelyhoods, homes, wealth, self worth, self respect even hope for the future.

Eighteen months ago I decided that I didn't want to live the way I was living. I didn't want to live, and I didn't want to die. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Life frightened me, I was ashamed of who I had become. An Alcoholic. I felt so sorry for myself. Poor me, anything but an alcoholic! How could this be? I grew up in the Salvation Army, I was Christened, even a Jr. Soldier! I have never been beaten, or poor. I don't have a criminal record, I still have my cute little family, a mortgage, nice things, I never needed more than I already had. How could this have happened to ME? What would my family think? My friends? My husband?

Believe me, they already knew.

I went to a meeting of AA, and after hearing a few stories, I knew this is where I belonged.

I was told to keep coming back, it gets better. Don't pick up that first drink and come to lots of meetings. Only live in today. Acceptance-of people, places and things. This really worked!

As I thought more of 0thers, and what they have been through, I realized that my life really wasn't so bad, I stopped feeling so sorry for myself. I quit drinking, and almost immediately felt better!( physically anyway) I started to notice things that I would have never noticed before. Life took on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, my new epervescent self started to emerge! Love was deeper, spirituality- replenished,the sun- brighter, hope- restored, sanity started to step in, a clear path for my life started to reveal itself to me. I began to realize that God had never left me, I left him. It was only God who kept me safe during my troubled teens. Today I am so greatful that I have a loving and forgiving God working in and through my life today. Only through God's grace can I stay sober, clean and able to carry the message of his strength, power, and abundant love.

It has been a long struggle to get to where I am today, but it has all been worth it. Today I have compassion, hope and gratitude.